Saturday, November 20, 2010

Feedback.



Have you read The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan?
You should.

She's almost as funny and as good a writer as me - almost.
She has a new book out called Lift. It's on my Christmas wish list.

She came to our local book store the other night so I went along to hear her speak.

She really is funny.
Reading aloud from her book she talked about how bad she thinks she is at mothering.
It was hilarious. We all laughed uproariously - mostly because we feel the same way at least some of the time.
Also because they served wine before we ate and we were all a little tipsy.

Like her, I have had to suck a Riccola because I just shouted so hard at my kids my throat hurts.
I have said NO! before the seven year old has even finished her sentence.
I have been so unpleasant for no good reason (Ok it was hormones) that I haven't wanted to look at myself in the mirror,
for fear of the ugliness I will see on my face.

It got me thinking. The whole circle of life thing - really not well thought out.

You spend large parts of your childhood - or at least your teenhood feeling irritated and bitter at all the rules.
You complain to your friends how much your parents shout at you and ruin your life with their mere presence.
You vow you will never make your kids follow the stupid rules and you will NEVER shout at them.
You make your parents feel guilty and miserable.

You become a parent. You enforce rules and raise your voice almost every day - sometimes all day.
You hate yourself for it.
You now get what it was your parents were going through.
You feel bad for giving them such a hard time.
You are nicer to them.

Wouldn't the whole thing be a lot easier if we could have come to that realization aged seven?
Who's idea was developmental stages?
Why is the whole maturity thing something you have to earn?
Wouldn't it have been smarter to have us come in with emotional maturity when we need it?

I don't mean to criticize but it does seem there is room for improvement.
A celestial ideas box maybe.
Couldn't hurt.




1 comment:

  1. Thank you! You make me feel like I'm not the only one! (I feel like a mother-witch sometimes...)
    Love Amelie

    ReplyDelete

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