Have You Seen My Mommy?

I'm back from BlogHer with about 30 posts in my head.
First things first.

I left my girls for four days.
It is the first time in their lives I have done that.
The husband and I have been away but they have never been with him and not me for more than a day.

More importantly, I have not been away by myself in over seven years.
To say it was overdue would be a massive understatement.

I knew I needed it. I had no idea how much.
I realized that even when I go away with The husband I find myself considering him and his wants and needs.
This trip was all about me.
(I did attend BlogHer with a friend but she was a compliment to my independence.)

I ate when I wanted, peed when I wanted - alone!!
I only had to consider me. It was glorious.
The conference stimulated me - mind, body and soul.
(More on that later.)
New York excited and inspired me.

I stayed out late without worrying how early I would have to get up.
I showered each day. I wore make up. I cleaned my teeth.

I did not miss my children.

I did not feel guilty about not missing my children.

I knew that after four days I would return to putting them first.
To meeting their every need for 12 hours (sometimes more) of every day.
I knew I would do it with renewed energy.

In return, they did not miss me much either.
The two year old barely at all. The seven year old more so but was mollified with the news that
there is an American Girl store in New York and that I had visited it.
They were with their daddy and all was well.

There was no big scene on my return. Heartfelt hugs, a few "I missed yous."
No tears, no drama.

I am resolved to take better care of me. To nourish myself so I can nourish my children.
To be me the person not just mommy, unapologetically, for a few days every now and then.
Now all I need to do is decide on the next venue.