Monday, June 8, 2009
I am in the 13 month slump. I had it with my first child too. I've just run out of everything - energy, patience, motivation, enthusiasm. Anyone would. Looking after a baby 24/7 is the hardest thing I've ever done. I chose to live in a different country from family so any help the husband and I get we pay for, either with money or reciprocation.
We worked out last night that we haven't been away overnight without a child for over three years - it's too long. How about that for an understatement.
It's also been a big week. The six year old 'graduated' kindergarten. The Auntie flew in for a brief but shining visit. The husband got sicker than I've seen him in years but still honored his commitment to a big music event and then there's the baby.....
I love my baby, of course I do BUT she never stops. The six year old, at 13 months, used to sit happily in a pile of toys and play. This one will toss them around, stuff them in awkward places and then bolt for the stairs, front door, back door, open window, toilet etc etc.
Last night the husband and I were looking forward to a very hard earned evening on the couch, watching a movie. We have been trying to have a date night for weeks and because of the endless illness in our house have not gone. We decided we'd date at home. It was not exactly romantic - the husband has a fever of 101. However, there we were - him under a quilt with a pile of tissues and various half drunk cups of tea, juice and water. Me, at the other end of the couch with an inappropriately large vodka cocktail.
We were just getting into the movie when there was an almighty CRASH from above. I believe I had just been celebrating how great our kids are for going down easily. We bolted - tissues and drinks flying. In my mind I saw the tall boy next to the crib pulled over on the floor. The baby has been throwing everything off the top of it and reaching through the crib slats to pull open the drawers and empty the contents. We had talked about moving it. I cursed myself for just talking and not doing.
We run into the bedroom and there on the floor is the baby. Dazed.
I felt a spontaneous need to vomit, cry, panic and scream.
We spent the next hour lowering the mattress in the crib and checking for signs of concussion - a large egg sized swelling with carpet burn doesn't count right?
The following hour we beat ourselves up emotionally while checking on the baby every 30 seconds or so.
The third hour - we watched the rest of the movie. Which was mediocre at best.
Today I am child proofing. We already have but I'm going all out. I'm thinking wall to wall bubble wrap. I'm an optimistic person - I'll get through this. The fact that the six year old is now on summer break should really help.....