Saturday, September 11, 2010
Two or Twenty?
The two year old is scaring me. She is taking enormous naps and when she gets up she is about an inch taller and 50 IQ points smarter.
Yesterday she watched her sister jump rope. She ran inside and found her jump rope. Genius in itself - if you could see the chaos that is the toy box. She then proceeded to skip whilst counting to eleven. I feel sure if I had asked her an algebra questions she could have answered that too.
She's not yet two and a half.
She speaks in full sentences, can dress herself. She is toilet training herself. I think I may be unemployed by her third birthday.
At her two year check up she was classified as 'failing to thrive.' Please.
I read today that The World Health Organization has introduced new charts which they are recommending doctors use in place of the very flawed CDC charts that allow my genius, if slow growing, child to be so insultingly classified.
I fear that the two year old is going to start giving me math pop quizzes at any moment.
I am under prepared.
I haven't seen the book titled 'Keeping Two Steps Ahead of Your Very Smart (If a Little Small) Two Year Old.'
I certainly can't write it.
I have seen the book about teaching your baby to read. What's up with that? Why does a nine month old need to read?
So that she can check her email?
When I ask the two year old she states her age as five - something I think she genuinely believes - at least in terms of maturity and intelligence.
How am I supposed to demonstrate authority and control if she can make me look stupid with a question about quantum physics while we make cookies?
OK, so I'm exaggerating but it is very odd to have this little being that you created then taught to eat, drink, sleep and walk suddenly start
Perhaps I can use her talents to my advantage. I wonder what the minimum age is for Survivor contestants?