I think it would be a stretch to describe me as a complete feminist. I believe in a lot of the principles of feminism and I certainly think women are capable of doing anything they want to do. I was however raised in a traditional household where the woman shopped, cooked and cleaned and the man worked. I default to that. Not because I think I should (or am expected to.) It's just habit and convenience - since I am a stay at home mom.
I am very aware that I am raising two girls though. One day they will be young women and I want them to see the world in terms of equal opportunity. With that in mind I have consciously tried to show them that I am capable of anything.
When something is broken I (try) to fix it. I lift and move heavy things. I show them that I understand the basic workings of my car and that I can maintain it. (Yes that is the sound of my husband laughing out loud.)
If I'm not able to do something I give a reason that doesn't involve gender.
"This is a two person job."
When there is a spider - I take it out.
I chase monsters from under the bed with authority.
We have gone away - just us girls.
I thought I was doing a really nice job.
At the infamous swim party a few weeks back, the six year old received a party favor.
It was a geode. Not familiar - neither was I.
The six year old reliably informs me "You smash it and there's a crystal inside!"
"Great!" I say "Let's do it."
We try with our hands but it becomes clear this won't do.
"Let's get a hammer." I say.
"But that's Daddy's job." says the six year old.
WHAT?????
I am crushed, indignant, insulted and embarressed all at once.
My daughter thinks I can't handle a hammer.
Where did I go wrong?
What do I need to do around here to show her that I can use tools -
wear a hard hat and overalls?
As you can imagine that geode took the brunt of my indignation.
I showed it who could use a hammer.
Maybe Daddy needs to cook more dinners. Maybe he needs to take them to the supermarket, maybe I need to walk through the house carrying lumber on a regular basis.
Maybe I just need to accept that I am who I am and she will be who she will be.
I can tell you one thing for sure though. The upcoming birthday is going to involve a toolbelt.
It may be pink with flowers but it will have a hammer.
Don't feel bad... I work outside the home and have a similar funny story. The other day a button fell off my daughter's shirt and she very quickly told me, "We'll have to take this to June's (my best SAHM friend) so she can sew it back on!"
ReplyDeleteI said, "I CAN sew, you know" to which she replied, "But you work in an OFFICE!"
Just can't win!!
*L* Ah, kids...they have their very own pre-conceived ideas. Nothin' we can do....except maybe buy them pink hammers... ;O)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for stopping by my blog the other day.
I think any woman who is able to make a choice about her life - whether it's SAHM, WAHM, working outside the home, whatever - can call herself a feminist. By that definition, it's no stretch to call you one - strong, raising her children with intelligence and good values, and allowing them to see your choices so that they can make their own.
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