Ridiculous.

I find many moments in parenting ridiculous. The amount I need to do in a day - ridiculous. How alert and organized I need to be on 4 hours sleep - ridiculous.
I could go on.

Last night was a prime example. Dinner was a messy affair, so as soon as I wrestled enough into the baby I took her upstairs and ran a bath. The six year old was still finishing her meal and had instructions to join us when she was done.

The baby LOVES her bath. I believe her goal is to drink it all by dunking and sucking her washcloth. She also enjoys depositing a healthy amount on me and the floor. We were splash happy. At 16 months, the baby has finally decided to grow her hair. I can now do hair sculpture with her shampoo and we were working on an Ace Ventura look when there was a piercing shriek from the kitchen.

The shriek was followed by silence. Uh oh.
It was the silence between a kid hurting themselves and the tears that follow.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaah!"

"What happened sweetie, are you OK?"

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

"Are you hurt, can you tell me?"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh, Owie, Owie , Owie!"

Then more silence.
What am I supposed to do? I can't leave the baby in the bath.
If I grab her out and run downstairs - she's going to get soap in her eyes.
At this point I still have no idea what the six year old has done. She's in a kitchen. Alone.
Immediately, I imagine her with a cleaver in her head.
We don't even have a cleaver.

'Sweetie, can you come to mummy? Are you OK? What happened?
Please tell me."

In the meantime I am frantically sloshing water on the baby to wash off the shampoo.
In the end we meet on the stairs. Me with a dripping wet, confused looking baby. The six year old still screaming. I see no blood. All limbs attached. Eyes in place. No internal organs on the outside.

It takes a while to calm her down enough to elicit the story. The baby is frantically trying to wrestle free so she can get back in her bath. I feel nauseous with worry, waiting to find out what the injury is.

"I bit my tongue."

Are you kidding me?????
(I hope that this was said only in my head but I'm not 100% sure.)

I know, that biting your tongue can hurt but come on.

So there it is. I find that I actually, momentarily, am disappointed that my kid is not more injured. Ridiculous.