Sunday, January 11, 2009

Label Mania

I have discovered a new psychiatric condition. It occurs mostly in kids under 10 years old.
It seems widely prevalent and does not discriminate between boys and girls. It is Label Mania.
The first symptoms seem to be related to clothing. While it may cause your temperature (and blood pressure) to raise, the first sign you will see in your child is itching. This will be followed by multiple changes of clothes accompanied by much whining.
The cure? A pair of scissors.
Top tip - make note of the washing instructions before you snip and discard.
After clothes, Label Mania will spread to soft toys and shop tags (try to remove before you leave the store for fast relief.)
You, like me, may think you will be able to convince your child that a piece of material less than an inch square is no big deal, is actually soft, not scratchy and needs to stay in place. Give it up - get snipping.
My five year old would have me snip off all labels everywhere, regardless of who they belong to or what they are for. I am hard pressed to convince her we need to keep the label on until we pay for something.
I actually carry a cute little pair of scissors with me at all times in case of an emergency attack.
In all other ways my child seems, happy, calm and reasonable. However, Christmas morning she became a little unstable. "Why would Santa give me labels? CUT THEM OFF!"
It's a good job Santa was already back in Lapland to miss the tongue lashing he got in our house.
Note to self: Clue Santa in for next year.
Thankfully, there's light at the end of the tunnel. Labeless clothing is here and although I doubt we'll see washing instructions printed on the cute furry bottoms of cuddly toys - I hold out hope.

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