Thursday, September 1, 2011
I plan. I plan meticulously. I make lists. I check them off.I try to think of every eventuality.If a band aid is needed - I'll have it. The same can be said for many items from the practical to the unlikely.I never used to be this way. Parenthood has brought this upon me. I blame society. We are no longer allowed to make mistakes in parenting. A little parenting mistake is now punishable by a fine, jail, child removal and worse - peer judgement. It feels like big brother is watching, just waiting for us to trip up.
I am undaunted because I am a planner. I think things through. When I am planning I do extensive research to make sure my children's needs will be met.I know the real secret to parenting success - Yelp. Nothing can be better than reading current, peer reviews. I am now all knowing and powerful.No surprises for me, I know exactly what to expect everywhere I go.
Planning a recent camping trip I found the following reviews:
"My mom's trail sized shampoo was accidently left in the shower, when we went back the next day - it was gone!"
Clearly this campground is full of thieves - we will not be going there.
"I only gave this campground one star because it was a lot chillier than we expected."
This lazy camp host doesn't even provide decent weather.
"This campground is supposed to be family friendly - the only activity was bingo."
Playing bingo leads to drug use - everyone knows that.
"Beware! The only swimming is in the river."
I assume she forget to add that the river was infested with piranha.
"I will never go there again - the shop was out of marshmallows."
Classic case of parent passing the buck. Note to self: Buy marshmallows.
"The dryers in the laundry didn't work - we had to hang out our towels to dry!"
This place is clearly forcing people to 'camp' - not the reason we pitch a tent in nature.
How can I go wrong with all of this priceless information? I have already crossed thirty two camp grounds off my list based on these thoughtful and informative reviews.
Then I found this,
"The ranger enforced quiet time which was great - all the kids were asleep by 9pm and all was quiet until 8am."
This place is clearly filled with magical child whispering powers - we are going there tomorrow.
Enjoy your Labor Day Weekend!