Thursday, July 14, 2011
Travel. It was never meant for three year olds.
Either I didn't get that memo or I am hopelessly optimistic (some might say stubborn.)
We just flew back from England. It is ten and a half hours in what can only be described as a tin can.
First of all, three year olds don't like to sit still for more than say thirty seconds at a time.
One particular three year old that happened to be sitting next to me, doesn't like to wear a seat belt.
Nor does she care to sit calmly in a seat, not kick the back of the seat in front, not play endlessly with the tray catch or rock back into the seat causing the seat back to bounce.
There are not enough apologies in the world for this scenario.
Then came nap time.
I have been flying with children for eight years. I feel like I know what I'm doing.
I brought jammies. We changed. I brought her blankie. We snuggled.
She was just dozing off when the flight attendant came by...
"OH LOVELY - SHE'S GOING TO SLEEP FOR YOU." she YELLED.
Well not now......
Fifteen minutes later, we are back to sleepy.
Guess who swings by to check in and see if a tub of ice cream will help the three year old go to sleep?
So now we have established that this flight attendant doesn't have children.
Just in case anyone is in any doubt.
NO. ICE CREAM WILL NOT HELP A THREE YEAR GO TO SLEEP.
Thanks for asking.
Next time try asking quietly to my ear and don't bring the tub with you and show it to the three year old.
So, we have ice cream.
Don't judge me for my lack of ability to call the shots. There was a seven month old asleep in the bassinet approximately 10 inches from our seats.
It had taken the parents of the seven month old about an hour to get her to sleep.
I need to keep tantruming to a minimum.
Finally, sugar high over, I get the three year old to sleep.
Enter a previously unnoticed passenger from across the aisle.
"THEY ARE SO LOVELY WHEN THEY ARE ASLEEP, AREN'T THEY?!"
"Yes, yes they are. Now, move along lady."
"HOW OLD IS SHE?"
"Three - go away."
"Awww IT'S A GREAT AGE ISN'T IT?"
"Yes it is - go away."
"IS SHE A GOOD SLEEPER?"
"Yes - except for when complete strangers come and yell right next to her ear - go away."
So we all know that I smiled sweetly and answered politely while hoping I was conveying my hope that she would shut up and go away - through my eyes. I don't think there's an Oscar in my future.
For the three hours that she slept, I was on a hair trigger.
I gave stink eye to anyone who came within two paces.
I shushed the crew as they passed out drinks, snacks and duty free.
I should have watched a movie or read my book but with a plane full of baby wakers I had to stay vigilant.
Travel. So relaxing.