Thursday, February 10, 2011
Room To Grow.
I remember when the seven year old was brand new. I would walk around just brimming with delight.
I felt so lucky to have a baby. The fact that she was clearly the worlds most beautiful baby was just the icing on the cake.
I would swell with pride as I walked around and people would comment on her beauty or cuteness.
I also remember my smugness.
I would look at Moms with toddlers, big kids and teens and I felt sorry for them.
No nuzzling into the silkiest skin for them.
No breathing in baby shampoo from the fuzziest of heads.
From my view - all those moms had was tantrums, gangliness and attitude.
They had nothing but gap toothed complainers.
It's amazing how in those moments I forgot the desperation of sleep deprivation.
I imagined that they looked at me with regret that they no longer had the bliss of a newborn.
I imagined that they wished for the baby years.
Now I look at Moms with newborns and I feel a little bit sorry for them.
I know how hard the first year is.
Sure - I no longer have a delicious newborn but I also no longer walk around in a haze of fatigue.
I no longer spend hours fretting because I don't know what that particular cry means.
What I know now is that each year gets better.
I now have a seven year old that loves to learn about the world and I get to share it's wonders with her.
I now have a two year old who loves to smother me with kisses and snuggle up to read a book.
They can both tell me what they need. Why they are sad. How they feel.
They don't need me to do every single thing.
When they are sick, it's not terrifying.
I am able to finish a cup of tea while it is still hot. I have resumed having an adult life - separate from being mom.
Simple things that are huge.
Now I think that those moms were not looking at me with envy.
Sure we all love a newborn but now I can be satisfied with looking or holding and returning!
I live and learn.