Friday, January 7, 2011

This Is The Place Part Two.


Did I give the impression I did not enjoy the holidays?

I did.
There were many golden moments.
Lots of super cuteness.
Cuddles, gratitude and love.

The holidays just seem to heighten everything.
At a time when most people get vacation. I don't.
In fact I get two weeks of overtime as there's no school.

I made my bed - I'll lie in it.
I just might whine a little while there.

This is the place.
The place where I get to say that I have been a full time mom for nearly eight years now.
I have had a grand total of six days away from my children in that time.
Otherwise I have worked 7 days a week.
My days are usually about 14 hours.
I am always on call.

I think this is when I'm supposed to assert that I love my kids.
I don't feel the need to.
No matter how much you love your job - you have bad days. Days when you want to quit.
Days when you call in sick just because you can't face going in.
Vacation.

Motherhood doesn't come with those perks.
Burn out is inevitable.

That's where I am. I will make the changes that I can to get past this.
I know that this too shall pass.
I know that toddlers only stay two for one year. Three is easier than two.
Four is plain sailing.

I know that some people juggle a job and their children.

I will enjoy this more when I'm not so tired, when I look after myself better.
I also know that out there, thousands of moms are in the same place I am.
I know that being honest and saying that right now - it's not so great - is what I need.

Thanks for listening.

3 comments:

  1. Hang in there! It's a hard job and it never ends. But you need some time for you now. Make yourself part of your list this year. Love Amelie

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  2. Keep talking. People are listening. You are not the only one that has felt or is feeling this way. For me it did get better. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Remember to take care of yourself!

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  3. Plan a weekend away. RIGHT NOW! Plan it, look forward to it. Relish it!!!!

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