Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Birds and Bees.

Last night I went to a lecture about introducing this hot topic to our kids.
Ugh. Do I really have to?
She's six.

The speaker was really great, covered the topic from every angle and answered some really difficult questions. I know you're going to have questions too.
Here's the main things I learned:

We need to stop calling 'it' her hoo hoo.

Six may be too early, a little late or right on time depending on your kid's curiosity levels, how much supervision you have of them and how much media they are exposed to.

Leaving a book on the topic in their room is not going to cut it. (Darn.)

It's not that I'm uncomfortable with the topic. What's not to love about talking about sex with a six year old?

What bothers me is what a knife edge the topic is.
You want to be honest and accurate but not tell too much too soon.
You want to stress privacy without creating shame.
You want to bring up the topic of safety but not burden with fear.

You also need to be ready to go from discussing sex to playing Candyland in a five minute time frame.

Yet again, I find myself wishing for a time warp where I can go to college, get a Bachelors in Parenting and reappear in my kids life as if I've never been away.

Now I just need to get her to not share her wealth of knowledge on the playground....


  1. Well, my daughter is 9, and I had to tell her about periods...found an arm pit hair.

  2. I feel for you.
    My mom is a nurse and she was always VERY open with us. We never said "I have to go potty." We said "I have to use the restroom." In fact, they taught me such great terminology that once, while my dad was carrying me around the grocery store, I guess he had to balance me with something else and he put my legs over his arm and I yelled out "Daddy!! You're hurting my vagina!!" I was only an infant, but wow, the cops and old people at the store didn't like that one very much.
    Good luck teaching your daughter about sex. I know it's rough, but the consequences of not doing it are much worse.

  3. I was so proud of myself ...when Andrew just couldn't understand why roosters don't lay eggs and just wouldn't let it go ....I explained the entire birds & bees. He was three. I could tell my friends were horrified because it occured to them he might tell their kids!

    He didn't, which was good, but eventually he forgot the whole thing, which was bad because I had to do it all over again when he was old enough to be embarrassed by it!

    Sigh. The best laid, most clever plans ......

  4. Really? At six? I haven't even thought about talking to my daughter, who is 6. Oh no! I have only talked about the basics of "Don't let anyone touch your privates" (as we call it) and much more safety and stranger stuff but not "the talk" My son was 9 when we did and he asked me with a very serious face. "Mom, how are babies REALLY made?" And it was no stopping then. After our discussion, he just looked at us and said "Ewww" Ha! I think we scarred him.

  5. That would totally suck and I am glad that I don't have to do that or even talk about it!

  6. I have a teen.... and a tween - there is far too many uncomfortable topics out there - more then I even realized.... Just wait till your child comes home after being at school and asks you what a Blow Job is????? Oh my - I hate to wish time away, but......

  7. Do you follow "American in Norway?" Here is a link to a similar post.


  8. oh good grief, you are making me cringe knowing the time is rapidly approaching...

  9. Popped over from SITS...

    You know, I never had 'the talk' with my parents! Ever! Luckily for them though I was really into science from being little and I had all sorts of children's books, including one about the body...I guess thats where I learned it all!

  10. My daughter is only 4 months and I am already dreading the array of "talks" that are in my future...ugh!!


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