Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Second Kid Syndrome.
When I was in college, I used to decorate my drab apartment walls with cards and postcards. One of my favorite was a picture of a 1950's housewife with a thought bubble declaring "Oh My God! I left the baby on the bus!" I thought it was hilarious. If you're familiar with the Law of Attraction - you might guess where I'm going with this.
For the record, my second kid was much wanted, much anticipated and is much beloved. I have been enjoying second kid syndrome. I am much more relaxed. I feel (a little bit) like I know what I'm doing. Tears, diaper rash, bruises and fevers are not nearly so intimidating. I have loved being able to just be with this child without constantly looking for something worrisome.
I have also taken many less photos, shot much less video and forgotten to write down the date she achieved milestones. In my new incarnation as a mother who is not going to feel guilty (all the time) I have realized that this is OK.
But then I left her in a shop.
It's true. I left my beautiful, sweet and tiny baby in a shop. I called for the five year old and boldly strode out the door.
In my defense, I had the husband with me. He didn't get her either. We also didn't get more than a few steps down the street before I said "Where's the baby?" Scarlet faced we rushed back into the shop. There she was blissfully unaware of her abandonment. Sitting in her stroller looking at the nearest shelf of interesting things.
I cried. I beat myself up for several hours. I ranted, about how WE WOULD NOT fall into the trap of complacency. That second kid syndrome was a choice and we were not going to make that choice. My husband wisely got me coffee and a scone.
I am a second child. So is my husband. We both turned out OK. As long as I don't keep leaving her in shops - I'm sure the nine month old will too.