Coasting.

(not my kid but a good impersonation)

You know that stage when your kid needs to stop napping? It's painful. If they nap - they stay up until 10.30pm at night. If they don't they are a cranky nightmare from 3.30pm until bedtime AND if you go anywhere in a car from 2pm onwards they are out like a light. We're in that stage. Again.

The four year old started transitioning from nap early this year. By May she was managing to be perky until nearly 6pm - much easier to handle. Then came summer break. Schedules changed. The pace of life slowed down and the sleepy period edged back closer to 3pm.

Here's the thing. I don't want her up until 10.30pm. I am fastidious about bedtime because I want some child free time in the evening. I want time with my husband. I want to pee alone just once in twelve hours.

Ask me where my kid is now? I'll tell you. She's passed out on the couch. It's 4.45pm. I should have woken her up immediately I noticed but a cup of tea sounded good. Waking her up after about 15 mins of snoozing doesn't seem to effect bedtime so I could have just had a cup of tea then woken her. Then the internet called to me - so many emails to catch up on. Now here I am blogging. The four year old has been asleep for an hour. Bedtime will be accompanied by moon and stars tonight.

This is known as a C- in parenting.

Jessica.

The husband and I just had a conversation about blogging trends and current affairs. He asked why I hadn't blogged about a recent parenting hot topic. The truth is I usually avoid the topic of the day. It's an active decision on my part. The stubborn part of me doesn't want to be dictated to. I want to blog about what I want to blog about. I also feel that by the time I get around to blogging, every possible angle has been blogged, tweeted and facebooked 1000 times already.

Not today. Today I have to write about the shootings in Colorado. Not because I want to talk about the need for gun control or judge the parents that took young children to the screening but because the only confirmed victim so far is a blogger.
I don't know her personally. I had not read her blog before today but I feel a connection.

Blogging is a community. No matter what you blog about, if you blog, you join a tribe.
Jessica Ghawi was a member of my tribe. A talented one at that. Her story has me covered in goosebumps. Her blogpost about narrowly avoiding a mass shooting in Toronto recently is the stuff of movie scripts. Only it isn't a story, it is her obituary.

So today, I write about Jessica to make sure that the story stays about the victims. It's so easy to get distracted. I think we do need to talk about mental health resources, access to guns and bullets, maybe even violence in entertainment/media. Surely there are some lessons to learn here. Not today though. Today, is for remembering Jessica, and the eleven others who died today. Today is for praying for the scores of others hurt. For understanding the impact on thousands of family and friends. Today is for honoring.

To those who died or were hurt today - I hope we learn something from your stories. I hope you are mourned and honored for you and not the act that all too abruptly ended your lives.

Out of the Mouth of Babes.

After our recent camping experience my children now know what they should do if they see a mountain lion. We discussed it casually so as not to cause nightmares - you know because there was a millimeter of nylon between us and the much advertised LION.

We know that if we do see a mountain lion we huddle, we make ourselves big, we don't turn our backs, we do not run. We are now extra confident hiking in the wilds.
We feel like we have our mountain lion Girl Scout badge.

So you can picture my delight when the subject came up today and the four year old was asked,

"So what would you do if you saw a mountain lion?"

My sweet girl gave a proud smile and confidently stated,

"I'd take it's picture!"

So proud.

Staycation.

In the never ending quest to fill the long days of summer I have resorted to many things - some lazy, some exciting, some downright fabulous. Sunday we achieved all of these things in one outing. We decided to take a leaf out of our own book. When family come to visit we encourage taking the touristy path. When we return to London we hop aboard a double decker bus and visit the landmarks London is famous for. It's always a great time. Like a light bulb suddenly going off in my head I realized we hadn't done that here. Where we live.

We were offered the chance to take a tourist trip around San Francisco. Not just any old trip though. A trip on a bus/boat. That's not the technical term - the technical term is DUCK. Actually the technical term is DUKW but let's not split hairs. I realized it was the perfect family thing to do, experience our own city from a visitors perspective, with the added bonus of fun (kids love fun.)

We Rode The Ducks!
I can honestly say that I can't recommend it enough. We watched other groups climb aboard buses with tinted windows - we climbed aboard a bus/boat with completely unobstructed views.

The kids couldn't believe their luck at being handed a duck whistle that not only was theirs to keep but that they were allowed to blow loudly. As with all things because they were allowed, nay, encouraged to make duck sounds frequently they actually blew it less than you might imagine. I like to consider myself a fun mom but quite frankly you don't know fun until you have quacked along to the Blue Danube whilst whizzing along the streets of San Francisco.

Seeing this gorgeous city with detailed and humorous commentary would have been enough but then we went into the Bay. INTO THE BAY in our bus/boat. I have lived here for 18 years. I have been out on the Bay too many times to count. This was a completely new experience, a totally different perspective.
The four and nine year old loved it. They didn't want it to end. They listened, they learned, they drove the bus/boat (in boat mode.) The whole experience was just plain great.

They need to re-write the song - If you're going to San Francisco - Ride The Ducks.










Small print: This is a sponsored review. The fun we had was unrelated to the sponsorship.

All The Fun of the Fair.

"Mummy is that you?"

"Yes - where are you?"

"Where are you?"

"Who's phone are you using?"

"A police man's."

"Let me speak to him."

That's how one of the more stressful thirty minutes of my parenting life ended yesterday. The nine year old broke all the rules and took off with her friends at the county fair. I was never really afraid - I knew she had taken off to do something they found more interesting. I knew she was with two friends and I knew she wouldn't go too far.

The encouraging part is that she did what we have discussed and found a person in uniform. She also remembered my cell phone number. BUT she still lost all privileges for taking off in the first place.

I try really hard not to buy into the fear culture. I like to believe in the good.
BUT when your child is missing - however briefly - it's hard not too slide into panic. It's hard not to have one hundred media images flash through your mind. I worked hard to stay firm in my belief that all would be well.

It's also hard not to get incredibly angry at your child - as soon as you know they are safe. She took off because she was bored listening to adults chat. She took off because her friends did and she went along with them. She took off because she's nine and she knows very little of the big wide world and it's dangers.

In some ways I was glad she had the experience. I think a lot about the difference between my childhood freedoms and today's children who live under a helicopter of guardianship. Even if you want to give your children a longer reign, the law often says you can't. I wish my child could be at the fair with her friends and check in with me for lunch or more money for the carnival games.

So why the loss of privileges? I felt I had to. I felt it was my parental responsibility to chastise her poor decision. I felt she needs to learn to stand next to me while I chat with friends for a few minutes. I need her to remember our family rules no matter what her friends say. Also, if I was being really honest - having her handed back to me by a police officer (who was charming and in no way judgmental) caused a dent in my mommy pride. If there's one thing I've learned over the past nine years - mommy has to appear to be in charge at all times.
My hands were tied, at least that's what I'll keep telling myself.