Early Morning Glee.

An earthquake woke me up yesterday morning.
That was surreal enough but it was immediately followed by this:

The seven year old repeatedly singing a love song from The Music Man in a pitch high enough to attract bats
and with enough dramatic emphasis to give Lea Michele a run for her money.

Musicals are her new obsession. She changes outfit for each song to emphasize the character she is portraying.
Her room is a huge pile of discarded outfits.

Her little sidekick, naturally wants in on this.
She gamely enters the scene about halfway through each song having just completed her outfit change.

It's very cute - but not before 11am.

I have tried to explain the concept of matinee and evening performance but my little thespians are undeterred.
I set up an audience of dolls and stuffies. I know - it was never going to work - but at the time I was hopeful.
I have enthusiastically talked up the whole theatre experience and how we need posters and tickets.
Which, co-incidentally involve quiet drawing time. Not interested.
This is not a back stage or front of house girl.

I too, spent hours in front of the mirror with a hairbrush belting out songs from Fiddler on The Roof, Joseph and His Technicolor Dreamcoat and Grease.
I know that it is my genetics that are responsible here.

I remember thinking that my parents were not as enthusiastic as they might be watching my multiple performances.
So, I am trying to be attentive while all the while my inner voice is screaming,
"Are you kidding me - it's 7am and I haven't even had a cup of tea yet!"

She doesn't even know that Glee exists yet.
I'm thinking ear plugs are in my future.

Tricky.

The seven year old is into playing tricks. I am not.
Most of the time I can just plaster a surprised look on my face and say,
"You tricked me!"
She doesn't seem to notice my patronizing tone.

It usually involves her passing me any small white object - a piece of popcorn, a stone and shouting "My tooth fell out!"
Quite frankly it's very boring.
I am not amused.

Still, I do my motherly duty and look surprised even when she does it five times in a twenty minute car ride.
Just to challenge my patience, if we happen to be doing carpool - her friends will usually have a turn too.
(A testament to my fabulous acting I believe.)

I have gently encouraged my little trickster to change her repertoire but the lost tooth is her thing.
So, imagine how downright stupid I felt when she actually got me with it.
We were in Mexico.
It is an important side note that I am not a fan of using medical facilities when we are abroad.

We were sitting around the table eating lunch.
With poker faces the seven year old and the husband set up their 'trick'.
Unbeknown to me,they had earlier found a tooth shaped shell on the beach.
When I am busy with the baby they put ketchup all over the husbands mouth.
He yells out and spits the shell onto the plate "My tooth!"

It is no exaggeration to say I almost fainted.
In the 2 maybe 3 seconds it takes them to burst out laughing,
I have imagined us in a tin roofed hospital with the husband having oral surgery without anesthesia.
In a Medivac helicopter on our way back to the States and my favorite - me married to a man with
a gaping whole in the front of his mouth.

I believe that might be karma.

It's A Wonderful World.

Billy Connolly tells a great story.
He took his two children back to see his homeland (Scotland) one summer.
He was very excited about showing them the land he loved.

He took them to ancient castles. Showed them breathtakingly beautiful beaches.
Took them to see the streets he played on as a child.
It was a trip full of history and nostalgia.
He hoped it would be full of lifetime memories for his children.

On their flight back to LA he asked them to name their favorite part of the trip.
They cheerfully agreed it was watching a DVD in the car on one of their longer rides.
Sigh.

We just had a similar experience.
We went to the Sierras for a few days.
It was gorgeous.
We stayed in a very simple cabin in the woods.

There was a meadow filled with lupins.
Snow on the peaks despite glorious sunshine.
A stream full of fish.
Stars for miles.

I talked enthusiastically about pioneers.
How the view of the mountains and meadow we were looking at now was how the first European settlers would have experienced America.
I enthused about the joy of simplicity.
How nature provides us with wonderful, fun toys.

There was no argument. Both girls returned my enthusiasm.
They played with rocks, feathers and logs.
They made wildflower bouquets.
They had fun packed days, filled with adventure and excitement.

So I had to ask the question.
Apparently the thing that was most memorable was a machine at the reception lodge that dispensed five fruit shaped candies for 25 cents.

Awesome.

That's You Told.

As we all know, one of the great joys of being a parent is that you get to do things with your kids that you did as a kid.
Better yet is that fact that you are now the boss so you can have the ice cream AND the popsicle. You can get something from the toy shop and it can cost more than a dollar.

It's great. (Well most of the time.)
Another perk - that I absolutely did not anticipate is that watching my kids at play makes me feel more normal.
I wasn't feeling particularly abnormal.
I just have quite a few "is it just me?' moments.
My kids by doing just their regular every day things, show me that no - it isn't just me.

In particular, I remember things I did as a kid that I was teased about or embarrassed by. Some of them have followed me into adult hood and I have continued to be embarrassed by my apparent stupidity or naivety.

No more!
My kids do it too.
Now a statistician may want to question the size of my study population but I am convinced that this is evidence that it's just a kid thing.
I am going to choose to ignore the fact that there are genetics involved.

For example:
When I was learning to read and write I frequently wrote words backwards.
It was a big deal. My teacher sent a note home about it.
Well, let me tell you Mrs Sutherland - my kid is doing it and her teacher says it's perfectly, developmentally normal. Ha!

She too writes yoj.
The fact that I wrote my name backwards was deeply troubling to the adults around me when I was seven (as I remember it) but I now know they were all mistaken because my super intelligent kid does it too.

It only took thirty (something) years, nine long months of pregnancy, a shockingly painful and long labor and delivery and seven years of careful parenting to prove that point.
I for one am extremely satisfied.

My Favorite Animal is a Liger.

We went to the zoo today.
It was a day full of golden moments.

The two year old squealed and pointed, with delight, at various animals.
Like seagulls and a passing squirrel.

We watched several animals poop -
very exciting if you're under ten.
(Although I'll admit a giraffe pooping is entertaining.)

We ate food that makes Mickey D's look gourmet.
We raced a peacock.
Just your regular family fun day out to the zoo.

I do have one question though.
What happens to the IQ of a parent when they enter the zoo?

I watched what appeared to be an educated, intelligent mom confidently identify a great, big lion as a tiger.
(Don't ask me how I ascertained her mental capacity.)
This was no slip of the tongue. She told her child in detail about tigers as she stared at an enormous lion with an out of control mane.

Later I heard parents confuse a kudu with a baby giraffe (Google images can help you out here.)
A warthog with a rhino. (Yes really.)

I would be willing to allow for sleep deprivation but these were parents of kids not babies.
I know we don't get to go on safari as much as we used to now that we're parents but a warthog and a rhino - come on.

I propose that zoos hand out an idiots guide to zoo animals at the gate.
That way we can appear our usual intelligent selves.
That way, grad school educated moms who have had a full eight hours sleep will never confuse their big cats again.....

Give Away!

Ok so I was worried - where is the love for the Dads?
Turns out there was something up with my comments link.
If you tried to leave a comment - I'm sorry.

We do have a winner!

Kate - send me an email with your address and I'll get your book in the mail.
Joy-mcg@sbcglobal.net

If you didn't win - go ahead and treat yourself to a copy.....

Father's Day Give Away!

It's getting close to Father's Day. Wondering what to get?
I've got you covered.

I am giving away a beautiful book.

'What Would I Tell Her' is a collection of essays by 28 fathers about
“Bringing Up, Holding On and Letting Go of Their Daughters.”

As with her heartfelt book about Mothers and Daughters - this one offers tears and laughter.

All you have to do is leave me a comment with a favorite memory about your father or a sweet memory of your children with their father.

To get this to you on time I will randomly pick a winner by 8pm Wednesday, June 16th.

Let's celebrate the Dads!

Crisis Complete.

I knew having children would change my life.

I expected to spend a lot of my time talking about, dealing with and planning for poop.
I expected to feel tired 90% of the time.
I expected to spend hours cutting food into tiny pieces and putting it into tiny containers.

Here's what I didn't expect.
I didn't expect my perspective on life to change so much.

I'm not talking about how more dangerous the world can seem,
or how much more exciting it is viewed with a child in tow.

I'm talking about how I've changed. I'll give you an example.
This week I spent several days filled with excited anticipation about - a supermarket grand opening.

I want to make sure you got that,
I WAS EXCITED ABOUT A SUPERMARKET OPENING.

I have achieved the thing I spent most of my teens and twenties railing against.
I have become settled, resigned even - to the mundane.

I checked that supermarkets website and followed the construction progress.
What happened to checking the live music listings?

I spent time thinking about when would be the best time to go - to avoid the crowds but enjoy the grand opening festivities.
I actually planned my attendance of the opening of a food market.

Maybe it has nothing to do with becoming a parent but I don't remember being so food, snack and household product obsessed before I had children.

Even more interesting (to me) is that I don't feel shocked about this change.
I am quite sanguine about it.
Does this mean I have completed my mid-life crisis?

Summer Is Calling.

It's the end of the school year. It brings many things.
Excitement, trepidation, anticipation.

It also brings, for me, twelve weeks of double trouble.
Twelve weeks. That's a lot of weeks.

In many ways I am ready. I am ready to let the kids wake up naturally.
I will not miss the morning bus dash.
I will not miss packing a lunch pack every morning.
I will not miss having to remember 101 things every day.
(Or forgetting then being frustrated.)

I will miss having any time to myself.

I decided on minimal camp this summer.
I decided to give the girls a summer of free time, beach days and no schedules.

A summer like I had as a kid - with long lazy days.
I remember feeling like the summer days lasted forever.
I remember going to bed in what seemed like broad day light.
I remember them being happy days.

Looking back now I see that it was the lack of structure, the endless possibilities that made them so enjoyable.

I want my girls to discover their garden and creek. I want them to loose themselves in a project.
I want them to spend whole days in each others company.

Will I wish they were at camp so I could get the laundry done?
Am I crazy?
Time will tell.

Re-Thinking Autism.

Autism spectrum disorders, we've all read about them. We probably all know someone with this diagnosis.
But do you really know what it means?

I went to a lecture recently about learning differences. The premise was that if you identify what kind of learner your child is you can help them navigate their education. Especially if their school does not support their learning style.

More interesting (to me) was the lecturers take on Autism and Aspergers. Her thought is that people with this diagnosis are perhaps the epitome of different learners.
She proposes that we should be studying their learning styles and celebrating them as perhaps their way of thinking is a way forward.

I was quite fascinated by this theory. Einstein was viewed as odd or socially inept. Would he have been diagnosed with autism in todays world?
Would his genius have been medicated?

As is often the way because the topic is on my radar I keep coming across other stories that may support this theory.
I recently watched a documentary about savants. They used to be known as idiot savants but as their abilities are being more understood the idiot has been dropped - thankfully.
They are now being celebrated and used in business for their genius and their ability to look at the world in an entirely different way.
Their ability to see mathematics, science and language in a way most of us can't comprehend is now being seen for it's advantage.
The accompanying social difficulties are no longer so important. We are learning that perhaps it's us who need to adjust.

As an occupational therapist and a parent I am encouraged when 'they' - the people who diagnose, judge and prescribe are asked to take a fresh look. If you live with a child with an autism spectrum disorder you likely already know this but for me it was just food for thought and a reminder to look at each child in the whole. For who they are and what they bring to the world - even if I don't clearly understand it.

Addendum: I have Adsense on my blog. It picks out words from my posts and attaches relevant advertising. Usually - baby or child related products. Coming back to read a comment I see that an ADHD medication ad is running. This is a post topic in itself - I need the income but what if it means running ads I may not personally support?
I guess I'll leave it at that for now.....

The Politics Of Parenting.

I thought that it was hard to parent my own children.
Get it right.
Teach them well.
Be compassionate but firm.
Give them boundaries lovingly.

It is hard. I second guess myself daily.
I over think it.
I worry that I might get it wrong and deeply scar my child emotionally.
I read. I learn from others. I work at it.

What I never expected was how hard it would be to parent other peoples kids.
You know your own child so intimately. You understand them. You see that they are tired or hungry before they can voice it.
Chances are you may not know a playmate quite so well.

One of my daily mantra's is "Different families have different rules."
Boy is that one coming back to bite me!

Those different rules are brought into my home during play dates and it is not always easy to convince a seven year old that they need to follow my rules in my home.

I have turned into my Grandmother - I find myself complaining about manners on a daily basis.
Today's kids are so bold - so entitled.
They demand rather than ask. They tell me that they disagree with my rules, they question me.
Wow.

In some ways I love that these kids are self confident. That they are not afraid of adults.
In many ways I find it entirely obnoxious.
You are seven. If I say no - you may not, then you MAY NOT. I don't want to explain or justify it for ten minutes. It's just a no.
Is my kid doing this in other peoples home??
That's a rhetorical question.

The Play.

The seven year old has always had the acting bug.
So when her teacher announced they were going to do a play she almost combusted.

Her excitement is contagious. We went to the fabric store and picked out fabrics for her costume.
I have been looking for a project for my sewing machine - so I agreed to make her Juniper Fairy costume.
She drew me a design which is far too elaborate but I'm hoping that she will be so excited by the finished product she will forget all about her design. I will aid that process by 'losing' the drawing....

Each day after school she can be found rehearsing (prancing in front of her mirror) within five minutes of getting home.
She is singing at the top of her lungs at every opportunity.

I loved doing plays when I was a kid. My first was Joseph and His Technicolor Dream Coat. The lyrics are ingrained in me. I can still (almost) sing the whole thing through. It's 90 minutes long. I remember the feeling of excitement backstage. The butterflies in my tummy. The pride when the audience applauded.
So naturally, I'm loving the chance to re-visit those glory days with my daughter.

What I don't remember was the hours of work my passion for musicals must have caused my parents.
I have about six hours of work in her costume.
I am helping at the dress rehearsal and all three performances.
I am providing 30 cupcakes for each show and then there's food to make for our post show potluck.

My entire week is consumed with the play. The two year old is along for the ride - whether she likes it or not.
I'm not complaining (really.) it's good fun but this is only her first grade play - what will I need to do when she makes it to Broadway?