Cut.

Yesterday, the six year old announced she wanted a haircut. A 'Bob' to be precise.
As it seems my entire role in life is to do the bidding of the six year old, I dutifully made an appointment. Not at the local Panda Room (kids haircuts and lollipops) but at "a proper salon Mama."

Watching my little girl sitting in a salon chatting with her stylist about her desired 'look' was both cute and terrifying.
She suddenly looked sixteen not six and was so clearly delighted with the whole experience. I had to leave the room to get 'something' out of my eye.

The end result was gorgeous. A perfect balance of little girl with a hint of style.
Her curls all lay on the floor and I had to whisk one away in my wallet.
She was so delighted with the whole experience and had a definite spring in her step as we left. We paused at every shop window to check she was still cute and she couldn't wait to get home to spend a solid hour looking in the mirror.

This morning I was woken by a whisper in my ear at 6.20am, "Is it still cute Mama?"
I'm not sure she noticed that I didn't even open my eyes as I declared her hair still fabulous. Oh goodness - she's turning into a teenager before my (closed) eyes.

Later as we got ready to go out I asked her to get her brush so I could help her with her hair "NO MAMA!"
"Why not sweetie?"
"You'll brush the short out and I don't want it long again."
Ahhh - still six after all.

Losing It.

May I digress?

What is up with the new Cottonelle Ad?
You know the one - very cute lab puppy at the spa.
That's right - I said puppy at the spa. That alone is enough to be concerned about but the puppy gives a running commentary on what he's doing. Why am I upset?
Well firstly, why does the damn puppy get to go to the spa and I don't?
The real clincher is that the puppy, at one point says, "looking sexy."

Sexy?? It's a puppy - advertising toilet paper.

Maybe I'm cranky. The kids have been sick - did I mention that?
The one year old never likes to miss out on anything so she joined her sister in sick-ville on Sunday night. A baby with a blocked nose is a very sad thing indeed.
A baby with a fever and a blocked nose is sadder than a very sad thing indeed.
A mummy with two sick kids and very little sleep is sadder than - well you get the picture.

So last night the husband went out to play guitar - his stress reliever and I sat down to watch Wipeout. Watching people bounce off big foam balls into mud seems to be my stress reliever - sad but true. I was highly entertained until the commercials came on - reducing me to a crazy lady. There I was ranting about sexy puppies, spa's and the asinine (pun intended) nature of TV.
The great thing about sleep deprivation and parent fatigue is that I'm easily distracted so the next segment of Wipeout and a cup of tea had me calm again.

What's my point? I'm not entirely sure - I just needed to share.
It's cheaper than therapy.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM6jWIpWtLI

Miss America!

The six year old has aspirations of fame. We've always known it. I think it started when she was one and a half and walked in her local Halloween parade. It was about half a mile and she was a ladybug. One and a half - not long walking and she toddled the whole way doing a pageant wave with a big smile on her face. She stopped and posed for photos and I think we even heard her saying something about wanting world peace...

Yesterday she walked over a mile in a Memorial Day Parade. Bear in mind that she has been sick - out of school for two days (send Valium please) and really lethargic. When she woke I tentatively mentioned the parade and asked if she wanted to go? She was up and in her fanciest dress before I could finish my sentence. We'll take that as a yes.

She has never seen a pageant and as we are not big TV or movie watchers, has not been exposed much to the world of Disney Princesses. Where did she get that wave? I think it's in her genes. She does it instinctively. So despite her previous malady - she pranced over a mile with a regal smile and the ever present parade wave. As her proud parent - I, of course, found it adorable. Let's hope she does not want to get into pageants - I would be the most annoying pageant mom imaginable.

Just to complete the picture - the one year decided to get in on the act. (I'm telling you it's genetics.) At first she was in her stroller, we thought a bit overwhelmed by the crowds, but then she demanded to get out. Next she grabbed for something to wave and before we knew it she too was smiling and waving for the crowd.
I wonder if Miss America has ever had bagpipe playing as the winning talent?

It's Not Over 'til it's Over.

Turns out that the pink eye was the trailer.
The feature was much longer and filled with drama.
In some ways it was a classic. It started late at night and ran long.

I'm being really flippant - it was one of the most scary moments of my parenting life. The six year old woke up at 11pm with difficulty breathing.
It was heartbreaking - as she struggled to breath all she could think about was that she would miss the May Festival at her school the next day.
It threw me back to my childhood and how I always seemed to get sick before a vacation or big event. It was devastating to know that you'd be stuck at home throwing up in a bowl while all your friends were having the best time.
I couldn't look her in the eye when she asked if she could still go.

It seemed like a really ridiculous situation. We were sitting in the bathroom with the shower on - breathing the hot steamy air. I'm trying to tell funny stories to distract her and work in ways to take big, deep breaths. She, between struggling to get a breath, is pleading to go to her festival, asking for ice cream and lecturing me about wasting water!

We managed to get her breathing well again. We had gone from full panic and thinking about calling 911 to lying back in bed reading stories in under an hour.
As you could have predicted when we finally got everything calm with the six year old and crawled into bed - cue the baby. At least she only wanted some milk and a cuddle.
Where do I get mine?

Congratulations.....

Jennifer!
Winner of the KidsKonserve giveaway.

Jennifer send me an email with your info and I'll get your thermos in the mail.

More great giveaways to come.

Drop Drama.

I'm back on the roller coaster. The six year old has pink eye. The one year old in true sibling solidarity decided sleep was over-rated last night.
So, just in case you haven't caught up with me yet - that means applying eye drops while groggy and cranky. An entirely un-ideal scenario.

I don't know if you have had the eye drop experience but in our house it's high drama.
I have tried everything - bribery (if you just lie still and open your eyes I'll get you an ice cream), lies (it feels tickly - it's fun!), threats (if you don't lie still there's no story tonight) and pleading (please sweetie please just let mummy do it.)

That's a sad sack of parenting tricks. It gets worse. Most likely the pink eye is allergy related therefore not infectious. Eye drops are probably not needed at all.
Here's the thing. (There is always a 'thing' in parenting.) To see if it's bacterial we would need to take a test which would take 1-2 days. If it turned out to be bug related then we would start the drops. 24 hours later she would no longer be contagious. Guess where I'm going with this. Three days off school. If we just start the drops as soon as her eyes look pinkish - we miss one day of school. The six year old was back on the bus at 7.30 am this morning after one day at home.

Did I win Parent of the Year Award?

Diving In.

We went to a great party this weekend. The kids came too.
The one year old was an angel. She went to sleep in a strange bedroom in a strange house about 20 minutes after we arrived and slept through the night despite raucous behavior below her.
The six year old ran with a pack of girls for several hours with a look of disbelief (that she was getting to stay up so late) and joy (that I wasn't stopping her from doing all the things they were doing) on her face.
It was very nostalgic to remember those rare nights in my childhood when that happened and it was so magical.

We got talking to a younger couple who were thinking about starting a family. They asked that great unanswerable question - "How do you know if you're ready?"
Me being me, answered it anyway.
My first response is always, "Have you traveled?" I think you should take a least one great, adventurous trip together before you add children. They had.
We chatted away about what changes, loss of sleep, stress on your relationship, the unimaginable joy and love, the laughter.

Then they asked the next great unanswerable question.
"What can we do to prepare?"
The true answer is - you can't - but me being me, I had a go anyway. (There was wine involved.)

"You could set your alarm for an hour and half earlier than you need (or want) to get up.
In that extra hour and a half - you can't go pee, make yourself coffee or anything to eat.
You should instead cut grapes into quarters. Peel and dice apples and do two loads of laundry. Throw the fruit pieces all over the floor and then clean them up.
Then you should make yourself a cup of coffee but leave it to go cold on the kitchen counter. If you are particularly sleepy or grumpy add some kids music or TV at LOUD volume.
That should take you through to 7.30 am....."

Perhaps I went too far but you know how I feel about myth. How do you convey what it's really like? For example between the last two sentences, I changed a diaper that not only necessitated a change of the baby's clothes but a change of mine and the change pad cover. All the clothes are now soaking in the sink and the diaper was so toxic I had to walk it to the outside garbage can, All that between the words myth and how. You would never have known.

I'm betting that sweet couple have decided to wait a little longer but I say jump on in the water is fine.

Don't Forget...

To register for the KidsKonserve Giveaway.
Leave me a comment by 6pm Monday, May 18th.
Good Luck!

You Can't Win Them All.

When I became a parent I thought a lot about my own childhood. What I liked and would repeat with my child and what I would do differently. The husband and I both had strong memories of being disappointed by Santa. We had lots of great memories of Santa but as is always the way, some bad ones stuck out. What we remembered was being asked to write a letter to Santa saying what we wanted. The problem was that Santa didn't always bring what we asked for.

So in true parent style we vowed to do it differently. We go to meticulous effort each year to ensure that Santa brings EXACTLY what was requested. So, it's about now that you are wondering why on earth I am talking about Santa in May.
Well, I'll tell you. Yesterday the six year old came to find me with a very serious look on her face.
"Mummy, this year I'm going to tell Santa he can choose a present for me."
"Why sweetie?"
"Well it's not so much fun when you know exactly what he's bringing."

Imagine a big penny dropping. Actually, imagine it slapping me across the face.
Whatever you try and fix from your childhood has no relevance to your child.
I knew this. I still had to learn it.

After delivering that perfect mommy ego shattering blow she jumped onto her bike and cycled off. Which would just seem like normal six year old behavior only she has never ridden her bike without training wheels before and has been refusing to even get on her bike since we took them off.
It was a big day.

Giveaway Time!

My friends at KidsKonserve are offering one of their fantastic products to you.
If you haven't checked out their website yet - go take a peek and then come back.

I am so happy to endorse this company because their products are cute, practical AND green. For those afflicted by guilt (who me?) it's an easy way to dump some.
The Food Kozy means saran wrap, foil and ziploc baggies are a thing of the past in our daily lunch pack. Something I feel very good about.

For my lovely readers there is a KidsKonserve Thermos up for grabs.
You know the drill - leave me a comment and you are entered for the random draw - so easy.
Why are you still here?

Stereo

Discipline. Doesn't the word just immediately conjure Dickensian thoughts? I think of it as the necessary evil of parenting. Without it life is a chaos of frustrated, cranky parents and confused, hyper kids.

Yesterday the six year old was being very sassy. It's her new favorite thing to do and is usually fueled by being at school. After pick up, we were headed into town to do some chores and spend some pocket money at the toy store. The six year old, very unwisely, decided to practice her new smart mouth techniques.

You can picture the end result. Wailing apologetic child in back of the car being driven home without the toy store treat, manically saying sorry in the vain hope that this would change her consequence. Cue the stereo wailing.
The one year old decided that if her sister was crying then perhaps she ought to join in with great gusto.
What's a mommy to do?

The easy thing would be to rescind the consequence, accept the apology and head to the toy shop. Only, I know that this just teaches the six year old that if she very quickly says an insincere "sorry" she gets what she wants. The sassy mouth returns within five minutes of getting the toy. I take the toy away and we are back at square one. Except that we are $10 lighter and the toy is forever tarnished with the bad memory. Uuugh.
I could have asked her to stop crying because it was upsetting her sister. Then she is mad at her sister. Aaargh.

I know that this is my (very poorly paid) job. I know that I am supposed to use these experiences to teach my children but seriously, sometimes I DON'T WANT TO!
Sometimes, I just want to ignore the sassy mouth, get the toy, keep the baby smiling and go home. Sometimes I want to be bad at my job. Really bad. Irresponsibly bad.
Sometimes I just want to take the written warning and bitch about my boss in a bar later.

Only, that's not how it works.
Instead I am supposed to feel good that I taught my six year old a valuable life lesson and the poor baby just has to suck it up as the second kid.
I guess my Mother's Day high has officially ended.

A Little Help From My friends.

Hello lovely blog reading friends.
I am going to be a Featured Blogger on 'The Secrets In The Sauce.'
For this I need to select my three favorite posts.
I'm having trouble making my choice. Help!
I'd love to hear what you think.
I have now archived some posts but there's a link at the bottom of this page.
Let me know your favorites please.
You can sign in OR leave an anonymous comment - I'd love to hear from you.

Also keep reading this week for a great Giveaway from KidsKonserve

Enough with The Boobs Already.

Why does anyone care what I do with my boobs related to my baby?
Why does any other opinion (aside from The Husbands - maybe) matter?

My boobs. My baby. Clear cut.
I get asked all the time - "Are you nursing?"
I don't get asked "Are you changing her diapers?"
"Do you bath your baby? Read to her? Cut her toe nails?"
All important things no?

What's the obsession with the boob? We can assume I am feeding the baby.
Although not enough if the weight percentile chart is to be believed.
While I'm on it, what is a percentile?
Can we have a new scale? One that's a little more jolly and less clinical.
How about peanut, rounded and chubby.
I'd much rather describe the one year old as a peanut than 5th percentile.

Also, who is it that really objects to breast feeding in public?
We don't seem to mind the boob on TV, the cover of magazines or spilling out of a bikini at the beach. Why is it objectionable at the mall or in a restaurant? Everyone else is eating - why shouldn't baby?

We need a new topic. To breast feed or not is SO overdone.
Something more current and relevant.
How about "Is your baby on Facebook yet?"
"Has he/she Twittered?"
I don't forsee any controversy there at all......

Happy Mother's Day!

This is a day of mixed emotions for me.
My own mother died when I was a child - so this day often triggers grief in me.
On the flip side - I am a mother.
My gorgeous girls have snuggled, kissed and showered me with homemade gifts.
The husband has let me sleep, made breakfast and bought lovely flowers and jewels.
I feel loved and blessed.

This day for me is a beautiful example of the circle of life.

So however this day falls on you - I wish you happy memories and golden moments.

Buff baby.

Yesterday, the baby had her one year check up. I find these things such a mixed bag of emotions. It's great to find out how much she has grown and how many milestones she has met. On the flip side there's vaccinations. Holding your precious baby while they stick her and watching her trusting eyes tear up is, quite frankly, brutal.
She recovered in about 3 seconds, I'll need a week - or two.

That would be more than enough but the baby is underweight. We've been working on it for a while but it's a tough challenge. She's growing in every other way so there's no real concern. However, I'm a mom so it's been niggling at me.
I seriously considered putting rocks in her diaper to cheat the weight check - just so I wouldn't have to stress about it. Then I remembered they weigh her naked. Rocks in her mouth maybe?

The pediatrician wants me to give her butter. As much as I can get in her. Handily, I'm Scottish so adding a pound of butter to all foods comes naturally. I'm just trying to work out how to get butter into grapes.....

Mommy Blog Smackdown!

So, if you are a mommy blog follower you may know there is a little controversy building.
It could turn into Blog Wars - I will freely admit to a little tingle in my drama bone.
It seems there are two camps - the 'blogger purists' and the 'sell outs.'

The blogger purists believe that mommy blogs are to build community. A place for support, advice and wisdom. A place to air your grievances, confess your parental sins and laugh at the crazy situations you find yourself in. Excellent - I agree. That's my camp.

The sell outs are using their blogs to make money. They have advertising, giveaways (which are secretly promotions) and may even sell stuff. Uh-oh.

I have blogger confusion.

I think the purists will place me firmly in the sell out group. I do have advertising (feel free to click!) I am hoping to have a little income. It's not for shoes and pedicures. OK, well I might get a pedicure now and then and I did get shoes recently but am I supposed to go barefoot and snaggle toed because I have a blog?

I do want community. I would love advice - funny, friendly, supportive advice only please - I'm sensitive. I do confess my sins here. I also want to pay the bills and stay home with my baby. Where's the harm? You don't have to use my advertising (but I highly recommend that you do.) No one is forcing you to use my Amazon link or tune in next week for a really great giveaway from KidsKonserve. Sure KidsKonserve is a company run by a friend of mine but she's a mom and their products are great and save trees - so that makes it OK right?

My blog entertains - I think. I hope it has some value. I need a new group. A bigger, all encompassing box to fit in. The Purist Sell Bloggers, hmmm. The Pure Out Bloggers - might be misleading.
I think I'll settle for The First Amendment, Can't We All Just Get Along Bloggers - catchy.

The Baby Is One!

My gorgeous little girl (can you tell she's been sleeping well?) is ONE today.
I'm really aware of second kid syndrome. She hasn't had a party, her gifts from us are hand me downs and we have no real plans today. The six year old and I do plan to make cupcakes after school but that's about it.

What I really feel is relief. We made it. Survived the first year. The thing that I remember most is that it was fun. Much more relaxed than my first, first year with a baby. Easier. I am relieved that we have done it and most likely won't do it again. I feel our family is complete. I have my wonderful, sweet, funny, beautiful girls and I feel full up.

Perhaps that's why we don't need hoopla. We are already full. I realize that second kid syndrome is a gift. A gift of calm, peaceful gratitude.
Today we can just enjoy - the gift of one healthy year. Sleepless but healthy!
Life is good.

U-Turn.

I have had a lot to say about guilt. I know that it comes with the territory but it really spoils the fun of parenting so I was really hoping to get the upper hand.
I think I might have to (reluctantly) accept that I'm not winning.

Just to keep things interesting - yesterday I experienced a new guilt.
Yesterday - I felt guilty for not feeling guilty.
I'm going to give you a moment to absorb the absurdity of that.

I hadn't been feeling too well and some sweet friends offered to take the six year old for a playdate. Usually, the husband and I pride ourselves on our 'family' weekends. It's our time to hang out together. We felt that we could make an exception and let the six year old go.
It was heaven. Cue guilt. Only, it didn't come.

We sat around reading and resting while the baby napped. We went for a leisurely lunch. The baby is easily occupied with a bagel for a solid half hour - so we actually ate our lunch and chatted.
We went to the food market and it was fast and easy. No six year old lingering in the cereal aisle. No questions. No guilt.

Then I realized how much I was enjoying myself. How lovely it was to be a trio. To have time for the baby. No questions.
Aah - there it is - guilt for not feeling guilty. I feel I should be missing my daughter and I'm not. I think we might do this again. Next weekend would be good.
This guilt I can handle - maybe I'm winning after all.

We Have A Winner!

Congratulations - Yvonne!
Your signed copy of "Because I Love Her." will be in the mail as soon as you email me your address. (Joy-mcg@sbcglobal.net)
Thanks for playing!

Five Year Spread.

The five year age gap between my girls is beginning to be a problem.
Not for the kids - they are fabulous together.
We haven't had a lot of jealousy issues and the six year old delights in playing with and teaching her baby sister. Long may it continue. For those more seasoned parents out there - please leave me in my river in Egypt.

The problem is with me. I find it hard to switch between instructions for a six and one year old. Discipline is even trickier.
I find myself giving the baby exasperated looks when my "No thank you - we don't throw" is met with an overhand lob worthy of a baseball pitcher. Why isn't she getting it? I never have to tell her sister twice...
Counting to three - another classic that stops the six year old in her tracks has no impact on the baby whatsoever. It's perplexing. I count slowly and use my fingers to show how many three is - still she crawls away gleefully to do the thing I just expressly forbade her too.

If I tell the six year old we're not playing upstairs right now, she stays down. The baby bolts for the stairs. She even taunts me with the turn back to see if I'm looking as she goes. I know I'm a good multi-tasker both by genetic design and practice but I don't seem to be able to get this.
I find myself asking the baby a question and actually waiting for an answer. The six year old is frustrated because I keep walking up to her and putting on her jacket or socks, when she hasn't needed help for approximately four years.

The six year old actually asked me to start my sentences with the name of the kid I'm addressing - she's tired of freezing spoon half way to mouth when I yelp "STOP" as the baby tries to ingest something inappropriate.

I'm not optimistic it's going to resolve anytime soon. I think the baby is likely to continue to get wildly ambitious instructions and the six year old will just keep rolling her eyes as I do something entirely unnecessary for her.
It should make for interesting teenage years.

Time's Running Out.

Don't forget to register for the Mother's Day Giveaway.
Scroll down and leave me a comment in the giveaway post.
Good Luck!

Flat Out.

I've known for a long time that being a parent is like being on a roller coaster. As Pink says - I bought the ticket, I'm strapped in.... These actions in no way prepare you for the ride.

The eleven month old and I had an amazing day today. She slept well, she greeted me with a gorgeous gummy smile. We played farm and she delighted at my animal noise impersonations. We swung together at the park and she reached for my hand to take her down the slide. She ate well, napped well and even gave me her rarely offered, cuddle with back pat. Delicious.

The six year old came home from school and they put on a puppet show for me. I could have burst with happiness. Compare it to 48 hours earlier when I could have collapsed with fatigue. When the six year old was more miserable than I've ever seen her.
When I was emotionally wrung out.

I would like to get off the roller coaster and take a nice flat train ride for a while. What are the odds? Where do I apply? I am a thrill seeker by nature but I really, really would like a quiet life for a while. I would like to take a shower when I need one. Eat my meals while they are hot (I'll take warm.). Read my book by the chapter - not the page. Sleep.
Picture that little nirvana and then join me back in the real world.

I remain optimistic - Mother's day is on the horizon.
Note to husband: No pressure :0)